| | Our culture today is not big on forgiveness. In general, people seem to prefer to hold on to their anger and have excuses to be bitter. I can understand that. It's really much easier, and, to be totally honest, there are many things I should have forgiven long ago that I still find, sometimes to my surprise, fill my heart with bitterness and resentment. But the Word of God is very clear on this. When Peter came to Jesus, feeling himself no doubt proud of his generosity of spirit, and declared himself ready to forgive his brother up to seven times, he asked the approval of Jesus on his intentions. Jesus, seeing the lack of true charity in his heart, replied, "not seven, but seventy times seven."
How many of us could swallow that instruction, and perform it? How many of us have given up a friendship or neglected a family member because the person had betrayed us eight times, or even just once?
A few years ago, I was faced with a dilemma. Someone I loved dearly had betrayed me in the worst way I could have imagined. I had two choices: I could abandon our relationship, count him unworthy of my trust, and look after the safety of my own heart; or I could do the unthinkable, forgive him unconditionally, choose to trust him, and take the risk of having my heart broken again. Practically anyone in our society would call me a fool for the choice I made. Many people I knew did. But I have never and will never regret my choice to forgive him and give our relationship a second chance. We have both been irrevocably changed for the better by that choice.
Forgiveness changes people. Some Christians will tell you that God forgives us when we repent, but I disagree. The forgiveness of God is unconditional, and all we need to do is accept it.
Now, years later, I have a friend who needs to forgive someone. She either doesn't want to or doesn't know how. But her choice to not forgive is going to change her life, and the life of her loved ones, forever, and for the worse. How can I explain to her the freedom of forgiveness and the joy of relinquishing bitterness? How can I help her understand that by refusing to forgive, she's not protecting herself, but is in fact exposing herself to sorrow and anger that time won't cure?
Have you had to forgive someone, and found it difficult? How would you counsel a friend who had been wronged, and was unwilling to forgive?
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| | Posted 4/21/2009 3:57 PM - 14 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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